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One reason a girl may be a flirt is because she wants to be loved. The attention might soothe a wounded self-esteem, but in the end it is like trying to survive on a diet of cotton candy: it tastes sweet but leaves her malnourished. Before a woman can love a man fully, she must realize that only God can completely satisfy her deepest desires for love.

Often this is nothing more than two people agreeing to use each other for mutual gratification. They receive the physical pleasure of being held and the emotional pleasure of being desired, and they remain together so long as they are a source of pleasure for each other. This is not far from prostitution.

Whenever you are considering doing something with a girl, ask yourself if you would do that if her parents were in the room. Or imagine the expression on her dad’s face if he were to walk in on you. In our hearts we all know what is pure and pleasing to God.

If you cannot decide if a particular action is “too far,” imagine your future bride or groom sharing that act with another person. If the thought of this makes you hesitate, listen to your conscience.

Engagement is a special time, and during this period couples may feel that they are “almost married,” but in reality being married is like being pregnant—you either are or you are not. No matter how committed a couple may feel, until they actually pledge themselves to one another on their wedding day, they cannot pledge themselves to one another with their bodies in bed.

It is understandable that a couple would want to lie down together. After all, who would not want to wake up next to their loved one? However, this kind of intimacy belongs only in marriage. To lie down with a woman in bed is marital. When we use the expression, “They slept together,” we usually are not thinking about sleep at all. But this phrase is used because the marriage bed is reserved for the marital act.

So why not wait for the honeymoon? I know of couples who were sexually active long before their wedding, and when they arrived at their honeymoon suite, they immediately fell asleep. They had been there and done that, so why not rest up for something new and exciting—like jet skiing?